One rule of thumb of the online world is that it’s very easy to get ghosted nowadays, including on dating apps. But there’s no need to start running around like a headless chicken, crying with the face in your pillow, and thinking that nobody likes you if a few of your matches don’t respond anymore.
Not everybody knows how to keep the other person interested as long as possible. Few people actually know how to maintain that level of attraction and not get ghosted when they’re talking to someone else through a dating app. So if you know a few “tricks” when it comes to online dating, you have a chance to actually build a strong bond with someone.
After many years of online social interactions, I believe I have strong reasons to be confident in my top methods to avoid getting ghosted. To avoid being accused of discrimination, I will pretend that I don’t know which one of the genders is ghosting the most. However, it doesn’t count too much anyway. Behold:
Get rid COMPLETELY of “hey, what’s up?” and of anything related
If the person you like always sees opening lines like “hey, what’s up?”, “how was your day?” or anything related, there’s no wonder why you’re getting ghosted! Those are just completely dull and boring opening lines that anybody can do and that are heard everywhere all over the world. Many people don’t even respond to them in face-to-face encounters anymore. C’mon, man, you’re better than that!
Instead, just try to ask something exciting, unique, and creative. Don’t tell me you can’t do it, because anybody can! Ask your match when’s the last time she or he has been to a concert of the favorite band, for instance. Ask about details to keep the conversation flowing while you bring your own contributions to the discussion. A forgotten rule is to try being a good listener. If the person wants to speak a lot, just make small interruptions, at least during the first discussions. It will trigger the person’s interest more, trust me! Most people are just bad at listening, so you’ll represent something different!
Send two messages in a row to express the same thing
It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s really not what it seems. Send something like “Hello John/Victoria!” for the first message, and “what do you dream about most often when you sleep?” for the second one that will come just a few seconds after. The person will realize that there are two messages, and he or she will be curious enough to open the discussion to see both of them. After that, your match knows that you see that they have opened the discussion. Suddenly, a feeling of obligatoriness to reply to your messages will appear at that moment (especially if it’s something other than “hey, what’s up?”).
Don’t sound too nerdy
Don’t ask your match how many Chinese were killed during the First World War, what’s the atomic number for carbon, or what was Stephen Hawking’s beliefs about what happens in the center of a black hole. Don’t tell your matches the answers, either, by automatically assuming that they are interested, either! In other words, don’t say anything that would make your match think like “oh man, this is all Greek to me!”.
If you know that your match is interested in such topics, yeah, sure, go ahead and bring them into discussion! But usually, people don’t use dating apps to discuss intellectual stuff, and they’ll immediately consider you a nerd if you bring up such topics. People use these apps for casual discussions while they’re taking a chill pill and trying to meet others. Not that there is anything bad in having good general knowledge, not at all! But you’re using dating apps to find a life or sexual partner, not to change the world! Therefore, you have no other choice but to adapt.
Be a rich and influential person
It may sound like a joke, but it’s not! Psychology says that people are attracted to others who are wealthy, surrounded by other people, or both. That means power, and people are attracted by it unconsciously. People will immediately follow leaders, those who are in charge and have high confidence, or those who can afford to get what they want. It’s not necessarily that age-old preconception that women like only men who have money because they dream of getting all that cash for themselves one day. That’s just how people operate. They are attracted to others who are somehow in charge.
Let’s be honest, would you approach a person who’s dull, has no friends, no self-confidence, and doesn’t appear to have anything special? Would you even vote for that person to be your mayor? Of course you wouldn’t.
Don’t be judgemental
Yes, I know it can be very hard to do it in our society that has so many flaws. But you have to try to avoid being judgemental towards your match, at least during the first discussions and until you build some trust. Pretty much nobody likes being judged nowadays when those buttons for blocking are always there waiting for them. Most people never judge others, so your match won’t hesitate to replace you as soon as you tell him or her something unpleasant, even if it’s true.
Surely you have found some useful advice in this article. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
